Send Nudes - Keith Petit (Tinder)

Now armed with a fully functional (but malware-riddled) laptop, your host delivers what will be his last unhinged Howard Beale tirade for a good long while, pending the arrival of our next guest from Paraguay. This time, he tackles perhaps his least favorite subject other than President Trump’s latest tweet: online dating.

Intro Music: Cinnamon Girl - Neil Young
Outro Music: Love the One You’re With - Crosby, Stills, and Nash

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The Warehouse of Forgotten Dreams - Keith Petit (Omaha)

All of your host's laptops are now dead. He recorded this jeremiad using a lavalier microphone plugged into a smartphone and spent the ensuing 18 hours trying to figure out how the hell to post it to this website. He hopes it delivers on some level. Your host must now return to warehouse.

—Boris

Intro Music: The Warehouse Song - The Extraordinaires
Outro Music: Dirty Water - The Standells

The Voodoo That We Do/Leaders 2 Kings - Keith Petit (Omaha)

In which your host, in the midst of his anthropological digging, reflects on the first hundred pages of The Golden Bough by James George Frazer, considers the role of superstition and magical thoughts in modern America (and modern American baseball), and narrates some strange regal tales from the old world.

Intro Music: Voodoo Lady - Ween
Outro Music: City Hall - Tenacious D

Season 2, Episode 4: The Serbian Clusterfuck (feat. /u/Silver_Testelone)

In which your host confronts his former Serbian internet adversary (see last week's drama) and, in piecemeal fashion, actually finds some common ground with the man despite a lot of weird death threats and penis amputation fantasies that came your host's way via intermediaries as a consequence of attempting to invite a Serbian on the show.

Intro Music: Walk on Gilded Splinters - Paul Weller
Entrance Music: Samo Jedna Noz - Dah
Outro Music: Feel Alright - Steve Earle

A Stateless Man - Keith Petit (Omaha)

In which your host ruminates on the purpose of pointless work, extols the virtues of manual labor, unfurls a new plan of attack, blames the United States Postal Service for sabotaging a love affair of yore, and previews (with no small amount of dread) his upcoming guest list.

Intro Music: Do Anything You Wanna Do - Eddie & The Hot Rods
Outro Music: Half A Canyon - Pavement

Season 2, Episode 3: - Yanira (Uruguay)

In which your host indulges in one of the most pleasant conversations he's ever had — with a Uruguayan, no less.

Intro Music: Montevideo - Alfie
Entrance Music: Yo Sé Quién Soy - La Trampa

There Are Doors That Open, And Doors That Don't - Keith Petit (Omaha)

In which your host reassesses his venture into the Balkans, describes (but does not perform) The Stupidest Song He Has Ever Written, casts a sneer at Francis Fukuyama and his prophesied End of History, ponders the internet hive mind and the ramifications thereof, and for the first time squeezes a proper meow from his cat on the show.

Intro Music: Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors - Radiohead
Outro Music: This Wheel’s on Fire - The Band

(Pew Pew) Reflections on an Anonymous Cleaning Lady - Keith Petit (Omaha)

In which your totally doxxed host (Keith Petit of Omaha, Nebraska) reflects upon the strange kindness of unknown individuals he has entrusted with certain vital tasks in his life. Then he turns his thoughts toward Uruguay and Paraguay.

Intro Music: Entropy - Grimes, Bleachers
Outro Music: Dance Yrself Clean - LCD Soundsystem

Totally Butthurt from My Tour of the Serbian Salt Mines - Keith Petit (Omaha)

In which your host recounts his gradual recovery from his butthurtness re: the criticisms re: his podcast which HAS ZERO LISTENERS and SCREENS ITS GUESTS and EVEN MAKES THEM FILL OUT A CHEEKY LITTLE FORM.

Intro Music: Jadna Bosno Suverna - Miro Semberac
Outro Music: Imagine - John Lennon and The Plastic Ono Band (with the Flux Fiddlers)